Secret poem about Dispair

I drove for one hour or two
drink a whole pack of beers
just to stop these tears
thinking about what I have to do
cut the thin strings of fear
leave behind the feeling
of be someone
good enough
to fill the holes
that you have in your soul
but I already know
I not good enough, even in thousend lifes and tries
to give what I most want
love…pure love…only love
to you…
Another beer,
another atempt to stop my tears
the lake is the witness
the smoke of a heavy cigar
is my alibi, my only friend
who tries to kill me, but also, give me strenght
“one more breath
end another one next day
maybe tomorrow gonna rain”
I don’t care, already rain inside my chest…

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Improvisation about be bulletproof

I can hear their whispers
they walk around me, trying to intimidate
they aim to my head
I really don’t care
they can shoot all their arsenal, spend all the bullets
my weak point is my heart
but, how they gonna hit something that they don’t have?
so much yelling, so much finger pointing
the fault always come from the others, from outside
empty from inside, so much shit from out of the mind
fullness, the soft touch of regret, fullness
much easy cut the skin from someone else, so, cut
the heat is higher cos the hell is beside, boiling
inside, outside, alike
the death don’t have time
come and go, like a plume taken by the wind
like a plume is my heart
broken so many times,
that is easy to fly
from hell to heaven, my soul takes my body to another plane
where the bullets with teeth format
can’t hit me, can’t hurt me, it’s my place to hide
mute the whispers, don’t look down to these stupid
let them chase my shadow
always forward, never need to back down
suck this truth and choke with the sensation
of never know how to beat me down

So and so

Some people wait all their life
to find a moment of love
that give sense
for all the pain lived for so long
damn, so I feel so
blessed, so alive and happy for all this
life that you bring to me, with only single smile…

Relentless or repentless?

I should keep it relentless
but it’s so stressful, bring the feeling of repentless
how to defend the perfect target?
always stupid and full of grace
that the false believe in himself give
every fool have the credit for his own grave
sad to say
or hard to believe? anyway
pacience ends when finds the heresy
of every stupid word spread

Send me home

All that I want
is that place called “hug”
that’s makes me feel alive and happy
hold me tight, hold me tight enough
to make me feel like a bird, ready to fly
this confused of intense feelings that looks like ready to fight
but is the way that I can say
my way to trying to explain
that your arms are the place that I want to stay
for seconds, minutes, hours, a whole day

Detrimental

Detrimental effect of reject
can’t accept
the liberal concept
of misunderstand
easy-to-do-and-to-say
that we don’t care about the hypocrisy
that feed and bleed us from inside like a dead river
no matter who you think you are, hetero, prayer or gay
this river already flooded us all from inside out
shiver, that damn shiver
that makes us stop one second, think, makes us a kind of thinker
that already understood the dead end
we don’t need to a hell to go
we already find our limbo
the river already drowned us all
sad-no smile-undead-head down-devil already set
no matter all the strenght that you have
we have no chance to ascend
so, the chance is to crawl?
bow down, bow down, knees on the ground
the side effect of reality, slaps in our face, disgrace or grace?
detrimental, side effect of acceptation
we already failed and reject the liberal concept
that misundertand is just a xcuse
for our hypocrisy and misery